Ok, imagine this.
X and Y meet and fall in love. They date for a while and then one chilly day in--say in November/December, 2005--they discuss moving in together. X suggests Y should move in with X. Both are really into the idea! They want to show the world how much they love each other.
They agree on a date. Let's say March 22. Round about late January, Y starts picking up on strange signals from X, who keeps talking about making "preparations" for Y's arrival, but not the nice kind of preparations like cleaning the bathroom. Preparations like making sure no one X knows interprets Y's moving in as a sign that X feels Y is a great, great person in every single way and endorses all of Y's views. Meanwhile Y proceeds with the move. X seems to be telling no one about the impending co-habitation. But Y tells all Y's friends back home, goes about changing magazine subscriptions, throwing out stuff Y won't need in the new place, even turns down a sweet pad someone offered Y for nothing! Then in mid-February (let's say Valentine's Day) X makes a surprise phone call to Y...
X: Hey Y. I've been thinking about this "moving in" thing, and what do you think of postponing it?
Y: Excuse me?
X: Well, you see, I've been doing some more research on you.
X: Yeah. You know, just on the internet. And I started getting concerned about some groups they said you joined, like communists or something...
Y: I did what?
X: No, don't worry. I found out that wasn't true, 'cause I hired a private investigator to track it all down.
Y: You what???
X: Yeah, can't believe everything on the internet, don't ya know. But there are still some questions people have...
Y: What people?
X: Hey, I still love you, Y. It's not me, ok? I think you're an inspiring example of passion. It's all my friends and my neighbors here. They're real suspicous of some things people are saying about you. Anyway, once I get the report from the investigator I know I'll be able to...you know, contextualize it all, so all will be cool.
Y: You hired an investigator? Why didn't you just ask me???
X: It's really no biggee. And I'm not breaking up with you. Hell, no! And I still want you to move in. Just later.
Y: Ok, when?
X: Like, later.
Y: Like next month?
X: Uh. Not sure. How 'bout next year? Yeah. Next year looks real good. I could print up some stuff, pass it around, give it to people to read. Maybe invite some folks over to, sort of, take the other side. Maybe someone else--like my friend Z, the neocon?--maybe he can, like, live with us for a while? You know, balance things out?
Y: (beat) I don't think so, X.
X: Hey: I just want you to know I'm really, really committed to this relationship. And all I care about is showing everyone how much I love you.
Y: Good bye, X.
X: Hey, hold on! So you're still moving in next year, right?
X: 'Cause I am so looking forward to living with you. I mean, once everyone knows you're cool and all..... Hello? (beat) Hello???
Do you see why X would look kinda ridiculous at this moment?
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Ok, imagine this.